a lovely dinner with friends [General]
2011 Aug 29
Slightly off topic: When I was in Mags and Fags last week they had a sign at the cash that said "We will be pleased to serve you when you have finished your phone call". I keep reminding myself the problem is not with the cell phones but those who use them. I am becoming less patient the older I get...#endrant
2011 Aug 29
No, actually, that is completely on topic Pasta Lover :-)
Here is something I wrote a while ago called "Cellphones are the Root of all Evil"
urbanhippy.ca
Here is something I wrote a while ago called "Cellphones are the Root of all Evil"
urbanhippy.ca
2011 Aug 29
Great article zymurgist you hit the nail on the head!
Fresh Foodie There is a difference between being different and having bad manners. I work as a receptionist and there is nothing that irks me more than visitors who show up for a meeting and still expect service while chatting on their cell phone. I get quizzical looks when I don't jump to attention and show them in. We have several meeting rooms at my office (if their meeting is in fact in one of those rooms) and since I can't read minds it's impossible for me to tell with whom/where the meeting is. They don't get served until I have their undivided attention. Like I said I am becoming less patient the older I get...
Fresh Foodie There is a difference between being different and having bad manners. I work as a receptionist and there is nothing that irks me more than visitors who show up for a meeting and still expect service while chatting on their cell phone. I get quizzical looks when I don't jump to attention and show them in. We have several meeting rooms at my office (if their meeting is in fact in one of those rooms) and since I can't read minds it's impossible for me to tell with whom/where the meeting is. They don't get served until I have their undivided attention. Like I said I am becoming less patient the older I get...
2011 Aug 29
This thread really struck a nerve with me.
Texting is marginally less offensive to me in restaurants than talking on cell phones which is SO rude at the dinner table.
I recently spent time in Tokyo, and while everyone is texting on the street and in the subway all the time, it is considered the worst kind of rudeness to let your cell phone ring audibly or to talk on it in public. The only people we saw talking on cell phones on the subway in Japan were Americans. It is so much nicer not to have to listen to half of every stranger's conversation, and on returning to Pearson where EVERYONE was talking loudly on cell phones and had annoying ringtones, it really struck us as completely boorish.
And re: texting - there is nothing more annoying in a theatre than seeing a 4.5" rectangular blue glow from a few rows ahead. I am told that the accepted way to show your disapproval of theatre texters is to launch skittles or popcorn at the back of their heads, but I find that shouting "STOP TEXTING" at the top of your lungs is just as effective, as they tend to snap shut immediately followed by scattered applause.
I sometimes feel like I'm a fossil for thinking this way, but one of my friends has two teens, both with smartphones, and both of whom would never dream of being so rude as to use them in a theatre or at the dinner table, so it's not a generational thing. I have since decided that their impressive teenage behaviour is the benchmark by which I will judge all others.
I put the use of a cellphone in a nice restaurant in the same category as combing your hair, blowing your nose, or putting on makeup at the dinner table, all of which are inappropriate, unpleasant, and better done away from your fellow diners please. That's not the kind of behaviour I want happening at the next table if I'm at Swiss Chalet, let alone spending $150 or more on dinner.
Texting is marginally less offensive to me in restaurants than talking on cell phones which is SO rude at the dinner table.
I recently spent time in Tokyo, and while everyone is texting on the street and in the subway all the time, it is considered the worst kind of rudeness to let your cell phone ring audibly or to talk on it in public. The only people we saw talking on cell phones on the subway in Japan were Americans. It is so much nicer not to have to listen to half of every stranger's conversation, and on returning to Pearson where EVERYONE was talking loudly on cell phones and had annoying ringtones, it really struck us as completely boorish.
And re: texting - there is nothing more annoying in a theatre than seeing a 4.5" rectangular blue glow from a few rows ahead. I am told that the accepted way to show your disapproval of theatre texters is to launch skittles or popcorn at the back of their heads, but I find that shouting "STOP TEXTING" at the top of your lungs is just as effective, as they tend to snap shut immediately followed by scattered applause.
I sometimes feel like I'm a fossil for thinking this way, but one of my friends has two teens, both with smartphones, and both of whom would never dream of being so rude as to use them in a theatre or at the dinner table, so it's not a generational thing. I have since decided that their impressive teenage behaviour is the benchmark by which I will judge all others.
I put the use of a cellphone in a nice restaurant in the same category as combing your hair, blowing your nose, or putting on makeup at the dinner table, all of which are inappropriate, unpleasant, and better done away from your fellow diners please. That's not the kind of behaviour I want happening at the next table if I'm at Swiss Chalet, let alone spending $150 or more on dinner.
2011 Aug 29
One thing I have to add re: cellphones, is that I have noticed a large number of parents giving them their undivided attention when they are "supposed" to be watching their children in the swimming pool and playground. I find it sad to see a parent sitting on a bench totally engrossed by their handheld devise while their child/children play. I must admitt that cellphones and smart phones have their place and can be quite useful but really what kind of message does this send our children? It seems to be another way of behaving like a "couch potato" while at the park/pool.
2011 Aug 29
The fact is, texting in a movie theatre affects other people's ability to enjoy the movie. Texting at a restaurant table where some people consider that rude, is (by definition) rude. However, the original scenario, in which everyone at the table was on their cellphones, is in my opinion entirely benign.
On the other hand, I've been known to slam people for walking around in Crocs, so I'm no less shallow and picky than zymurgist. :-)
On the other hand, I've been known to slam people for walking around in Crocs, so I'm no less shallow and picky than zymurgist. :-)
2011 Aug 30
flexie - i loathe the parents that spend all their time texting while the kids are playing at the park. i've rescued more than a few toddlers wandering off while the parent is busy with their cell. i seem to end up with a small following when we are at the park of kids trailing my son and i around or playing in the sand with us. what is worse is when the parents yell at the kids for interrupting them at the park. one boy got yelled at because he had to use the washroom.
i find i'm too engrossed in my food and/or company to notice what other diners are doing elsewhere in the restaurant.
i find i'm too engrossed in my food and/or company to notice what other diners are doing elsewhere in the restaurant.
2011 Aug 30
HFF, for me it's about atmosphere, and most times when I'm looking for a total dinner experience, it doesn't include hearing someone's Britney Spears ringtone, or listening to one side of a business call. For me that does intrude on my experience.
Fresh Foodie, maybe crocs in a restaurant is a sort of crime too, but flip flops have perhaps more of a potential for disruption. That flap flap flap sound is more annoying than cutesy ringtones.
Why can't everyone just behave the way I want them to? :)
Fresh Foodie, maybe crocs in a restaurant is a sort of crime too, but flip flops have perhaps more of a potential for disruption. That flap flap flap sound is more annoying than cutesy ringtones.
Why can't everyone just behave the way I want them to? :)
2011 Aug 30
I couldn't care less what other people who have nothing to do with me do. Talking loud on a cel at the next table is no more irritating that talking loud to someone at the same table. And yes, i know i know, the brain blah blah half the conversation is more annoying whatever... - if one needs to listen in that badly they have other issues.
2011 Aug 30
Hahahaha Pasta lover and OSoloMeal! The fact is, being judgmental and intolerant of others is human nature. One part of being civilized is to be conscious of that and work hard to counter it.
One of my favourite quotes, attributed to Mother Theresa of all people: If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
This statement recognizes that everyone is flawed and that judging them is a slippery slope that will only make you miserable.
One of my favourite quotes, attributed to Mother Theresa of all people: If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
This statement recognizes that everyone is flawed and that judging them is a slippery slope that will only make you miserable.
2011 Aug 30
Yeow! Mother Theresa? Wow! This was all sliding off me like water off a duck's back until that one!
No, they were not harming anyone in that moment given they were all doing the same thing. May have been pissing off other patrons I suppose. But statistically I would say that someone with that kind of addiction is far more likely to jump in their car and keep texting away. Addiction hurts everyone.
And to stay with the Mother Theresa theme - I did feel pity for them :-)
No, they were not harming anyone in that moment given they were all doing the same thing. May have been pissing off other patrons I suppose. But statistically I would say that someone with that kind of addiction is far more likely to jump in their car and keep texting away. Addiction hurts everyone.
And to stay with the Mother Theresa theme - I did feel pity for them :-)
2011 Aug 30
i've sometimes experienced the inverse of what Zym describes ... a reaction to people not texting more. The scenario, often repeated at various Bridgehead's around the city (particular Tunney's and downtown), involves jr. bureaucrats blathering on about their bosses, their projects and portfolios, etc., apparently unconcerned w/ being overheard. (or maybe being overheard is the point?)
Said gossip certainly enhances the coffee-experience, i'm happy to soak it up. But, against the (apparently) increasing attention to cyber-warfare and info-security concerns, i'm curious at the nonchalant use of BH as ad hoc office space. I mean, shouldn't these sort of info-exchanges be more tightly parametrized - eg., to a D'arcy's, a steakhouse somewhere ... a Tim Horton's parking lot in the burbs?
Said gossip certainly enhances the coffee-experience, i'm happy to soak it up. But, against the (apparently) increasing attention to cyber-warfare and info-security concerns, i'm curious at the nonchalant use of BH as ad hoc office space. I mean, shouldn't these sort of info-exchanges be more tightly parametrized - eg., to a D'arcy's, a steakhouse somewhere ... a Tim Horton's parking lot in the burbs?
2011 Sep 21
I have to agree, I can't stand when people are texting when you are out with them. I had a first date recently and the girl I was with not only answered a few texts but also made a call on her phone at the table.. certainly no second date there..
Any time I go out, be it a restaurant or just a friends place, I make sure the phone is on vibrate and don't touch it until we are done (unless of course there is a valid reason to keep an eye on it). Just common courtesy in my opinion.
Jo
Any time I go out, be it a restaurant or just a friends place, I make sure the phone is on vibrate and don't touch it until we are done (unless of course there is a valid reason to keep an eye on it). Just common courtesy in my opinion.
Jo
2012 Jul 10
I give to you, the phone stack!
davehyndman.tumblr.com
www.getkempt.com
Quote :
It’s called a phone stack, and it’s a buzzing, flashing reminder of every phone-etiquette rule the world seems to have forgotten.
It works like this: as you arrive, each person places their phone facedown in the center of the table. (If you’re feeling theatrical, you can go for a stack like this one, but it’s not required.) As the meal goes on, you’ll hear various texts and emails arriving… and you’ll do absolutely nothing. You’ll face temptation—maybe even a few involuntary reaches toward the middle of the table—but you’ll be bound by the single, all-important rule of the phone stack.
Whoever picks up their phone is footing the bill.
davehyndman.tumblr.com
www.getkempt.com
Quote :
It’s called a phone stack, and it’s a buzzing, flashing reminder of every phone-etiquette rule the world seems to have forgotten.
It works like this: as you arrive, each person places their phone facedown in the center of the table. (If you’re feeling theatrical, you can go for a stack like this one, but it’s not required.) As the meal goes on, you’ll hear various texts and emails arriving… and you’ll do absolutely nothing. You’ll face temptation—maybe even a few involuntary reaches toward the middle of the table—but you’ll be bound by the single, all-important rule of the phone stack.
Whoever picks up their phone is footing the bill.
2012 Jul 10
Shrugs. Perhaps its an age thing, perhaps it's the requirement in certain industries to be always connected. I know that when myself and the Ms go out, ourselves or with friends. We can expect a brief pause or some time spent on our mobiles. I know that I frequently go out on business lunches and have to take emails/txts/calls as they come in, as do the other parties I'm with. I'm not taking a call to chat about my pet cat or my hipster bike...
I make money with the time I have, so as much as I enjoy the food, it is secondary.
I can order the same dish 1,000 times. If I wander off for a 2 hour siesta, I can lose a window that will never appear again. The opportunity cost is huge.
To answer Zym's question... why we don't stay at home for PB*J.. because we don't have to, need to. or want to.
We certainly don't spend the whole time on our phones, and nobody I'm with is ever sitting there playing Angry Birds or some other nonsense at the table. Camaraderie doesn't always involve talking non-stop, you can just be there and say a few words and still enjoy your time together.
Because we spend a few minutes on our phones doesn't mean we enjoy the seat any less.. or are our dollars less valuable in that they're not paying for that seat.
Don't mean to sound harsh, but there's a flip side. If you don't see it this way, I understand. But it doesn't mean I'm right and you're wrong. We're just different. I won't take offence to your plaid shirt, why are you taking offence to my cell phone.
I get it, nobody likes loud obnoxious talkers, or phones in theatres, or long cell conversations about cats from fellow diners. But you can't paint everyone with the same brush.
I make money with the time I have, so as much as I enjoy the food, it is secondary.
I can order the same dish 1,000 times. If I wander off for a 2 hour siesta, I can lose a window that will never appear again. The opportunity cost is huge.
To answer Zym's question... why we don't stay at home for PB*J.. because we don't have to, need to. or want to.
We certainly don't spend the whole time on our phones, and nobody I'm with is ever sitting there playing Angry Birds or some other nonsense at the table. Camaraderie doesn't always involve talking non-stop, you can just be there and say a few words and still enjoy your time together.
Because we spend a few minutes on our phones doesn't mean we enjoy the seat any less.. or are our dollars less valuable in that they're not paying for that seat.
Don't mean to sound harsh, but there's a flip side. If you don't see it this way, I understand. But it doesn't mean I'm right and you're wrong. We're just different. I won't take offence to your plaid shirt, why are you taking offence to my cell phone.
I get it, nobody likes loud obnoxious talkers, or phones in theatres, or long cell conversations about cats from fellow diners. But you can't paint everyone with the same brush.
2012 Jul 11
Ravi, I hear you about keeping the finances flowing, and I wonder how much society has changed that we expect people to be instantly available 100% of the time. As a management consultant, I treat mealtime the same as I would a meeting with a client. I don't answer calls or texts until I am free. I have voicemail that I check many times a day, and from the first day I got a cell phone many years ago, I decided that letting calls go to voicemail was no big deal. One of my friends said to me, "What I do is not so important that if people don't get to me immediately children will die somewhere" and I have lived by her advice since. I think that my clients deserve uninterrupted attention, and I feel the same way about my mealtimes, as that time is very precious to me. But to each his own. Maybe I'm a dinosaur LOL.
2012 Jul 11
I think people who incessantly answer cell phones like to think they are more important than they really are. People in general do as it all stems from our fear of death - and cell phones just feed into that natural feeling. And if I were the client being interrupted by cell phones, you would not be getting my business if I had another choice.
I guess the devil is in the details, and since no details are given I'll assume I'm right :-)
EDIT: I do realise that cell phones are sometimes required for business, but I worked developing the things and from what I've seen most instances of that are very exaggerated and not really a requirement. We have a cell phone for the coffee business but it is seldom used. Now and then when I'm making deliveries if it is a new customer in an area I am not familiar with.
Is there a circumstance where a missed call costs money? I'll entertain the notion but the only situation I can think of off the top of my head is maybe a stock trader.
I guess the devil is in the details, and since no details are given I'll assume I'm right :-)
EDIT: I do realise that cell phones are sometimes required for business, but I worked developing the things and from what I've seen most instances of that are very exaggerated and not really a requirement. We have a cell phone for the coffee business but it is seldom used. Now and then when I'm making deliveries if it is a new customer in an area I am not familiar with.
Is there a circumstance where a missed call costs money? I'll entertain the notion but the only situation I can think of off the top of my head is maybe a stock trader.
2012 Jul 11
I'm in sales so I have a lot of sympathy for Ravi's POV, and I do think that there's plenty of scope for being able to engage in conversation as part of a group as well as to deal with the odd phone call, email or text throughout the course of the evening without causing offence. I just like the idea of making my mates pick up the tab for my beer.
2012 Jul 11
Yes I also thought of someone in sales. Though as noted it is a double edged sword. If you have me out to lunch to try to sell me something, and you pick up that phone, it is a strike against you.
I wonder whether the guys taking me out to a sales lunch on Friday are reading this :-)
Email is generally a far better way to do business anyway ...
I wonder whether the guys taking me out to a sales lunch on Friday are reading this :-)
Email is generally a far better way to do business anyway ...
2012 Jul 11
There is a difference between a quick check of an email or a few minutes responding to something when accompanied by a "sorry, I need to get back to this client" and those that spend the majority of the evening on facebook and/or Twitter.
I recently went to dinner with a couple and the whole time the 2 of them were constantly were on their phones only to find out later that they had been tweeting pics and details about our dinner in real time.
I recently went to dinner with a couple and the whole time the 2 of them were constantly were on their phones only to find out later that they had been tweeting pics and details about our dinner in real time.
2012 Jul 11
That sounds like a good game. I agree it is just bad etiquette using the phone during dinner. Unless you're an ER surgeon, other than a personal emergency, you shouldn't bother with the phone during dinner with friends. How the hell did we get by in the pre-cell phone era? We can do it now, too.
I think it would be cool if there was a calendar that friends and other potential callers can see. You'd would put dinner with friends on the calendar, and hopefully nobody would disturb. I guess that's one good thing about facebook: the ability to tell a wide group of people 'i'm having dinner at X hour on Y day, so don't bug me'. Anybody that calls during this time has to drop by and pay for dinner. (an upgrade on the original game)
I think it would be cool if there was a calendar that friends and other potential callers can see. You'd would put dinner with friends on the calendar, and hopefully nobody would disturb. I guess that's one good thing about facebook: the ability to tell a wide group of people 'i'm having dinner at X hour on Y day, so don't bug me'. Anybody that calls during this time has to drop by and pay for dinner. (an upgrade on the original game)
zymurgist
walking by a newly opened place along the hintonburg strip
2 couples with a prime seating in a sunny window. maybe mid/late 20s
are they laughing and enjoying each other's company, enjoying one of the last days of summer?
nope.
all four of them have their heads in their laps texting on their cell phones
why even bother going out and spending money at an expensive restaurant? they could have stayed home in their pyjamas and eaten peanut butter sandwiches
yeesh