Ribfest!!!! [Events]

2011 Jun 16
Because according to....


THE 2011 INTERNATIONAL CHICKEN-RIB COOK-OFF June 22-26 is almost upon us...

'Twas the week before Ribfest, and all down Spark street

Public servants were stirring, to visions of meat;

The diets were followed by all far and near,

In knowledge that Ribfest soon would be here;

The salads were packed, the tupperware buttoned,

For in seven short days we would all shift to glutton;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, a thousand laps did swim,

And I settled down for six hours at the gym.

Cuz on Tuesday pm, the trucks would arrive,

Loaded with meat from a long country drive,

To set up the grills, with clanging and clatter,

and huge massive amounts, of dead animal matter.

The sauce on the breast of the newly plucked chicken,

Gave the lustre of mid-day to things finger lickiní,

Pulled pork, to my wondering eyes would appear,

For ten seconds on my lips and two weeks on my rear,

With a side of slaw, beans, potatoes or bread,

Stuffed quickly and happily into my head.

And most for the ribs, the masses they came,

For all of their favourites and called them by name;

"Now, Boss Hawg! Silver Bullet, now, Gator!

On, Camp 31 near public defibrillator!

To Texas Outlaws! to Bibbs, Samís and Bones!

Now dash away with pictures sent from your phones,

To friends and to family far far way,

Poor suckers who canít get a combo platter this day.

So bottles of sauce sold out so fast they flew,

With t-shirts and takeout and 2-4-1 bypasses too.

And then, around noon, I heard a great roar,

The MPs were on lunch and running through the door,

As I clutched close my plate, and was turning around,

Surging down Sparks Street Parliament came with a bound.

They were dressed all in suits, with an off the rack sheen,

Which chunks of rib sauce, would never leave clean.

A bi-partisan horde, a rib munching cast,

For the best thing to happen since the budget was passed,

Their eyes -- how they twinkled! their stomachs did rumble!

They waited in lineups with scarcely a grumble!

For ribs side by side with piles of beans,

A real improvement over arguing ways-and-means;

The stumps of rib-bones held tight in their teeths,

The circles of meat-sweat on collars like wreaths;

Groggy in mind and full in the belly,

Private sector and public, like peanut butter and jelly.

The City of Ottawa, united by meat,

except when racing to grab a bench seat.

A caravan of bliss, stopped for five days,

To blanket the city in a carnivorous haze;

They speak not a word, though they shout and they sing,

Those glorious meat merchants and the joy that they bring;

And then at the end, they pack up their trucks,

Their grills and their cashes filed with our bucks;

They rev up their engines, the trucks give a roar,

To the collective terror of pig, swine and boar,

And we watch and we wave at the departing drivers,

Who'll be back next year, to feed the survivors.

Jun 24
Meatings in Orleans is excellent. Best ribs and brisket in Ottawa.