Chatty Customers [General]
2008 Jul 10
Food&Think you brought up a couple of my pet peeves! So this is my two cents worth:
#1 - Paul syndrome
I also remember when this became a trendy practice in restaurants. I only considered it a minor annoyance at the time. But I had a friend at the time who was driven to distraction by this practice. I remember her telling me the story of a restaurant visit when she was with a large group of friends. The waiter came by and gave his openening introduction "My name is Paul and I will be your waiter this evening". She answered back saying "My name is Debbie (I am changing her name here in case she is lurking...) and this is my friend Susan and this is my friend David..." and continued to introduce EVERYBODY at the table. The waiter did not introduce himself to anybody else that evening...
#2 - Chatty customer
I am usually pretty quiet when I shop/dine out so I am fairly inconspicuous. Although when I shop at any of my favourite establishments I will usually pay a compliment to the staff on my way out. Same thing at a restaurant when I have received good service from the waitress I make a point of telling her when I pay.
On the other hand I do enjoy the chatty customers to a certain extent. I have never worked in the food industry but I have worked in retail. Most of the chatty customers I dealt with were on the whole quite pleasant and were just trying to be friendly. However there were a few bad apples like the one Mousseline and the staff at the French Baker have to deal with and I find this behaviour quite annoying. The thought that usually goes through my head is that I don't know this person and I don't WANT to know this person. (Just my opinion here...)
#3 - Please dear
This is my biggest peeve ever. Especially when I am greeted by someone who insists on calling me "dear" or "honey". ("Can you get me the same blouse but the next size up dear?" "Now can you get me the same one but in a blue dear?") At this point I usually introduce myself and say "My name is Wanda you can call me Wanda" (my actual "street" name...) Which brings me to the last point...
#4 - Name no face
The customer is actually making a point of learning my NAME and personalizing the experience.
I would love to hear what others have to say.
#1 - Paul syndrome
I also remember when this became a trendy practice in restaurants. I only considered it a minor annoyance at the time. But I had a friend at the time who was driven to distraction by this practice. I remember her telling me the story of a restaurant visit when she was with a large group of friends. The waiter came by and gave his openening introduction "My name is Paul and I will be your waiter this evening". She answered back saying "My name is Debbie (I am changing her name here in case she is lurking...) and this is my friend Susan and this is my friend David..." and continued to introduce EVERYBODY at the table. The waiter did not introduce himself to anybody else that evening...
#2 - Chatty customer
I am usually pretty quiet when I shop/dine out so I am fairly inconspicuous. Although when I shop at any of my favourite establishments I will usually pay a compliment to the staff on my way out. Same thing at a restaurant when I have received good service from the waitress I make a point of telling her when I pay.
On the other hand I do enjoy the chatty customers to a certain extent. I have never worked in the food industry but I have worked in retail. Most of the chatty customers I dealt with were on the whole quite pleasant and were just trying to be friendly. However there were a few bad apples like the one Mousseline and the staff at the French Baker have to deal with and I find this behaviour quite annoying. The thought that usually goes through my head is that I don't know this person and I don't WANT to know this person. (Just my opinion here...)
#3 - Please dear
This is my biggest peeve ever. Especially when I am greeted by someone who insists on calling me "dear" or "honey". ("Can you get me the same blouse but the next size up dear?" "Now can you get me the same one but in a blue dear?") At this point I usually introduce myself and say "My name is Wanda you can call me Wanda" (my actual "street" name...) Which brings me to the last point...
#4 - Name no face
The customer is actually making a point of learning my NAME and personalizing the experience.
I would love to hear what others have to say.
2008 Jul 10
Pasta Lover - LOL, funny "Paul" story. I bet your friend is a hoot to be with.
"Yes Dear", this kind of bugs me too, but I think a lot of times it has to do with culture. It seems to me to be a fairly standard thing with Brits, and those Canadians who are highly influenced by the culture (family members who came from Britian). I don't see it as intentionally jarring, I just see it as a part of speach that they are unaware they use. Although I can read it as condesending when I am on the receiving end, which I believe is the reason it puts most people off. Like you, I use the opportunity to tell the person my name.
Yes I too like it when someone acknowledges me, especially if they ASK if they can call me by name. But I still think our consumer culture has come to the point where it just freely gives away our right to choose, nametags are just some dreamed up false excuse as a "pretense" for customer service. "See we are the Big Name Big Box Store, and by telling you all our employees names, you can feel like we care about you (and them)" IMO... it's not about the name, it is about the service... which brings me back to point #1 and our friend Paul.
;-)
"Yes Dear", this kind of bugs me too, but I think a lot of times it has to do with culture. It seems to me to be a fairly standard thing with Brits, and those Canadians who are highly influenced by the culture (family members who came from Britian). I don't see it as intentionally jarring, I just see it as a part of speach that they are unaware they use. Although I can read it as condesending when I am on the receiving end, which I believe is the reason it puts most people off. Like you, I use the opportunity to tell the person my name.
Yes I too like it when someone acknowledges me, especially if they ASK if they can call me by name. But I still think our consumer culture has come to the point where it just freely gives away our right to choose, nametags are just some dreamed up false excuse as a "pretense" for customer service. "See we are the Big Name Big Box Store, and by telling you all our employees names, you can feel like we care about you (and them)" IMO... it's not about the name, it is about the service... which brings me back to point #1 and our friend Paul.
;-)
2008 Jul 10
a variation on the "My name is Paul" theme are the waiters that refer to the specials in self-referencing terms, e.g., "tonight, i've got a wonderful...".
Annoying, even more so when it happens in restaurants that offer vantages from which you're able to juxtapose the sweat rolling from the faces of the kitchen staff against the "what, less than 20% tip?" attitudes of front-line wait-staff. At the top of my pantheon of offending restaurants is Vancouver's Na'am (for those who've been), one of that city's first organic, hippy resties: great food at a great price, but my long-standing impression was one of looking past our Owen Wilson twin / slacker / waiter (describing his specials) to see two South Asian women working like crazy.
OTOH, I don't mind if wait-staff call me dear. That seems alright to me. :)
Annoying, even more so when it happens in restaurants that offer vantages from which you're able to juxtapose the sweat rolling from the faces of the kitchen staff against the "what, less than 20% tip?" attitudes of front-line wait-staff. At the top of my pantheon of offending restaurants is Vancouver's Na'am (for those who've been), one of that city's first organic, hippy resties: great food at a great price, but my long-standing impression was one of looking past our Owen Wilson twin / slacker / waiter (describing his specials) to see two South Asian women working like crazy.
OTOH, I don't mind if wait-staff call me dear. That seems alright to me. :)
2008 Jul 11
Man you guys are tough customers! Servers can call me anything they want as long as they have a pleasant demeanour. For me, a smile and good attitude does more to pad tips than technically excellent service might. Tips are all about what makes the experience more pleasant. Unfortunately, this varies from customer to customer, and servers cannot read minds.
I believe the "My name is Paul" thing is usually mandated by management, either as a means to create a congenial atmosphere or maybe so you know who to name when giving feedback. Poor Paul is being forced to do it. "Paul" may not even be his real name. Please don't punish Paul for introducing himself! :-)
I believe the "My name is Paul" thing is usually mandated by management, either as a means to create a congenial atmosphere or maybe so you know who to name when giving feedback. Poor Paul is being forced to do it. "Paul" may not even be his real name. Please don't punish Paul for introducing himself! :-)
2008 Jul 11
Zym - ROTFLMAO, Server calling me dear... too funny, what I was referring to was a customer calling the server (or as Pasta Lover added retail worker) as in "Could I get another ____ Dear."
Itchy Feet - Ah yes the "Tonight I've got a wonderful..." I completely forgot about that irritation. Of course it should be "we've got", you are so right the robot at the front of house has forgotten the brains and sweat in the back.
I loved your "Gilligan's Island" reference. Ok lets see what the Skipper had to say ;-)
Fresh Foodie - Tough customers, us? LOL, I'm with you on the pleasant demeanour part. And you are so right about the "Paul Syndrome" poor Paul has no input into the mess. Don't even get me started on fact that false names are used... Have you ever reached an IT Call Centre in India, "Hello, My name is Dave, how can I help you today."
I guess what I was going after in this topic more than anything else is how BIG Business dictates to their employees policy that the Customer can clearly see thru as a sham. That and as one who has been both the Served, and the Server, can see how much I prefer being the one who leaves the tip, rather than the one who prays there might be one at the end of the maze.
Itchy Feet - Ah yes the "Tonight I've got a wonderful..." I completely forgot about that irritation. Of course it should be "we've got", you are so right the robot at the front of house has forgotten the brains and sweat in the back.
I loved your "Gilligan's Island" reference. Ok lets see what the Skipper had to say ;-)
Fresh Foodie - Tough customers, us? LOL, I'm with you on the pleasant demeanour part. And you are so right about the "Paul Syndrome" poor Paul has no input into the mess. Don't even get me started on fact that false names are used... Have you ever reached an IT Call Centre in India, "Hello, My name is Dave, how can I help you today."
I guess what I was going after in this topic more than anything else is how BIG Business dictates to their employees policy that the Customer can clearly see thru as a sham. That and as one who has been both the Served, and the Server, can see how much I prefer being the one who leaves the tip, rather than the one who prays there might be one at the end of the maze.
2008 Jul 11
I just have to say in my own defence that the customer in question is not a pain because she's chatty, she's a pain because she's high maintenance....and thinks because she's chatted up a couple of people and knows them by name that she has a "relationship" with the employees in question. She's been known to phone during lunch hour and ask someone to describe every item in the display case to her. Because clearly she's more important than the dozen customers in line in the store...that came in person.
2008 Jul 11
Mousseline - Sorry, in your defence, it was I who wasn't clear on that issue (I should have been more careful because I used it as the tangent for this one). I instead here in this post was referring more to the "relationship" part of your post, and how because she now knows someone by name, she thinks she deserves special treatment, or that she is superior in someway to others, and there in lies the rub.
And to tie both thoughts together...
"I'm sorry Dear, I hope you forgive my oversight" (smirk... I'm sorry I couldn't resist). ;-)
And to tie both thoughts together...
"I'm sorry Dear, I hope you forgive my oversight" (smirk... I'm sorry I couldn't resist). ;-)
Food&Think
"We have a customer like that....she's learned a couple of the staff's names and chatted them up, so she thinks she's a special customer."
Ah yes the chatty customer... This topic provokes a lot of thoughts for me.
#1 - Paul Syndrome
I think a lot of this has come about because of that 1990s hangover that begins "Hi my name is Paul, and I'll be your waiter this evening". There was a time when all this familiarity was not the norm in the restaurant biz, a holdover from the "house staff" when servants were to seemlessly work, almost unseen, unheard.
#2 - Chatty Customer
I'm guilty of being the chatty customer. I like to have a good one-on-one relationship with my wait staff. Even in the more formal situations (where Paul's name is no where to be heard) you'll find me inquire, "can I ask you your name?", and then I'll converse with my waiter all evening. I may not use his name in every snippet of conversation (as he goes about his travels to and fro at my table), but I will certainly say his name when I leave, "Thank you John, we had a wonderful evening".
#3 - Please Dear
What irks me beyond belief tho, is when a customer discovers a server's name and then begins to use it without first asking. This of course is most prominent in industries where servers wear nametags (I'm thinking that this might be the case in Mousseline's example, as oftentimes Bakery Staff would wear a nametag). As someone on the receiving end of this, it has really drove me around the bend. They read your tag and then say "Donna, could you be a dear and please..." essentially looking for that "special treatment" because they've used your name, and thereby think they know you. UGGGH!
#4 - Name No Face
I though being the chatty customer, and accutely aware of how much the above practice bugs me, have found a way around this in say a Diner. Just like in the more formal restaurant, I will still find a way to ask the server's name, and essentially ASK THEIR PERMISSION to use it. "Cathy, do you mind that I call you Cathy?" and then go on converse the same way that I did with John, and in effect making no distinction between the two in the levels of service the provide. Because in my opinion both are hardworking whether they are in a diner making minimum wage (and minimum tips) or at the highbrow restaurant raking in $100s a night. I have found that being chatty with Cathy has often been a surprise to her (in a good way). IMO, a lot of times when a food service employee wears a nametag, it is in direct contrast to what actually happens, instead of being "personalised" they are actually treated as if they are "invisible". Kind of like an apology by food service companies, "Ah yes we are (Massive Food Chain Name) and we pay you very little money, no benefits, treat you like crap, but hey we care about you because we know your name is Cathy".
Any thoughts?